Overcoming Superwoman Syndrome

overcoming superwoman syndrome

Publicity photo of Lucille Ball from I Love Lucy, 1957.

I am a feminist, in that I believe that women are the equal of men and should have equal opportunity and equal respect in this world. I do not believe that women are a subclass, “weaker,” inferior, or owe obedience to anyone but themselves. And yet, we have drunk the Kool-Aid of our culture, and even the strongest women find ways to beat themselves up regularly for failing to perfectly perform tasks that even Superman himself could not handle.

In order to be taken seriously, women have to out-perform, out-think, and out-compete our male counterparts. We masculinize ourselves by wearing business suits that only give a half-nod to femininity by virtue of having some color. We suppress our emotions (business executives don’t cry), cut or plaster our hair, and overachieve. And even then, we may not be treated as equals.

At home, we beat ourselves up for failing to keep our houses clean enough, our food tasty and hot enough, and our children happy and educated enough. We are even so accustomed to suffering and abuse, in its many devious forms, that we actually compete with one another to see who can suffer the most and still be left standing.

For example:  childbirth. “Natural” childbirth has many adherents, and that isn’t a problem in itself. But in some quarters, if you didn’t feel every agonizing moment of a vaginal delivery, then you have somehow failed as a woman. When I attended 6 weeks of childbirth classes, I finally had to ask when they were going to discuss anesthesia. “Oh, we’ll talk about that in week 4.” One day out of six, in other words. And God help me if I should have a C-section. You’re not a “real woman” if you get one of those. I had two, and I was blissfully anesthetized.

I told someone recently that I am not Eve. It is not my lot in life to continue to pay for “Original Sin,” which is something I don’t even believe in. I don’t have to feel labor pains if I don’t want to. I was awake and aware of my children’s births, and the manner of their arrival makes me no less of a mother. Yet, the peer pressure in this area is enormous. And it’s not men who are doing it. Women are doing it to themselves.

When my first child was born, I attempted to breast feed. The nurses were single-minded in their attempts to help me, but it became obvious, as my child lost weight, that she wasn’t getting enough. Nothing, in fact. The formula was brought in. I felt enormous guilt for essentially starving my child for 2 days. And yet, there is a lot of (female) judgment out there about feeding formula to your baby. But I am grateful for it. It’s what my children needed, because lord knows I couldn’t give it to them.

Most women have to work in today’s economy in order to provide a decent standard of living for their family. Fortunately, the guilt of putting your children in daycare has more or less subsided, because most people just don’t have a choice. A good daycare and preschool can be beneficial, in any case, and many neighborhoods are often empty of small children during the work week, for better or worse. Gone are the days when most women had the luxury of choosing to stay home.

While the demands of work and domestic duties have been thoroughly discussed in the media, women still perform the lion’s share of domestic duties. Thankfully, many younger men have stepped up and are more involved daddies and more helpful around the house. Still, many women subconsciously feel it’s “their job” to do certain things, and we are disinclined to take even simple steps to lighten our load. For example:  housekeeping. If you work 40 or more hours per week and can afford it, why not hire a housekeeper? Very often, we don’t because we’re afraid of what our spouse or our friends will think of us. God forbid we should be considered too lazy to clean our own homes.

As a whole, women have suffered terribly in the past few thousand years, and somewhere in our psyches, we equate being able to endure suffering with being a good woman. Self-esteem, we think, is built upon having a successful career, maintaining a well-run household, and raising overachieving children, all while maintaining the figure and face of a teenager. Even Atlas couldn’t support that load. Yet, we continue to compare ourselves with other women, alternately judging and feeling guilty for not performing our womanly duties perfectly enough.

Physical, emotional, and sexual abusers prey on our capacity to endure suffering. After all, if you believe somewhere inside that you deserve it, or that your ability to endure the suffering will one day bring you validation or relief, then you will put up with a lot of abuse. Don’t.

The most potent weapon in the hands of the oppressor is the mind of the oppressed.
~ Steve Biko

The oppressor is sometimes malesome men are bad news, and vice versabut most often, we simply oppress ourselves. We believe that suffering is “our job.” We believe that what’s good for us has to wait until some distance future day when the children are grown up, the husband is retired, and we have no worries. That day will never come. Such women never look after themselves. Don’t be that woman. If you cannot matter today, then you will not matter tomorrow, either.

Release yourself from self-imposed suffering. Hire a maid service, either weekly, biweekly, or monthly, if you can. Negotiate chores with your significant other. Make sure your children have a list of chores, too. They can start doing small things at 2 years, such as putting away their toys. Acknowledge that you are not Superwoman and that you do not have to do everything to have value on this earth. Delegate. Put up with some chaos. Take some personal time for yourself often. Have date nights with your partner. Be an equal member of your family, not the family pack mule. But most of all, release any beliefs you may secretly harbor about needing to suffer.

Henry Kissinger said, “A diamond is a chunk of coal that is made good under pressure.” But you never started out as coal. What need has a diamond for additional pressure? It is already priceless.

On a related note…

The Age of Miracles

planet earth ascension

“The Immortal Soul” by Sulamith Wülfing

In these days of chaos, unrest, and violence, it seems unreal to talk about an age of miracles that is heralded by a mass shift in consciousness. And even though there are signs of this shift everywhere, it is still hard for many to believe. Many seem resigned to the perspective of “Hell in a handbasket.”

I have had many experiences that give me glimpses of what is today and what is to come, although they are hard to write about. How would you describe the third dimension to a flatlander (a 2-dimensional being)? This is the difficulty with all spiritual transmissions:  explaining the greater reality (higher dimensions) in a way that we can understand.

One of my earliest experiences was a lucid dream, a “journeying” dream, of being in the spiritual classroom. In it, all of humanity was walking in the same direction, heading to a new place. Our landscape had changed. The colors were unlike any colors you have ever seen—they included more of the total spectrum of light. Sharp, vivid, living colors, the colors of high-vibrational energy. That energy was now a visible part of the landscape. The mountains, the great keepers of wisdom that serve to release pressure on Gaia’s body, were emitting huge beams of energy into the sky. They were glorious.

As we walked, I looked up. The Veil was gone. Instead of a hazy sky, I could see the entire Universe:  suns, galaxies, planets, all emitting their own energy and shining down on us. And in that scene of loveliness, the sky was filled also with crafts of many designs and colors. There was also a giant wheel in the sky, with nodes on each “spoke”—it was a space station, and at each node a spaceship was docked. Our star family was now openly with us.

As I walked, the day grew long. A number of people seemed to drift away from the main crowd, disappearing. The smaller group that remained sat and watched the sun set behind the mountains’ display of energy. The world had changed, simply, quickly, and miraculously. Everyone was peaceful and happy. No one wanted for anything.

This dream was rich and detailed, and I knew I was in a real place. I understood that Spirit was giving me a preview, and while some aspects of the dream were metaphorical, I knew to look forward with joy.

All of this brings me to the transit of Venus on June 5, 2012. I knew that this would bring in a great deal of energy to the earth (it has been more or less pouring in all year), but I was still astonished at how strong it was. I felt like I could sleep for a week!

During the transit, I was doing a Kundalini yoga workout. I like Kundalini yoga because it is an easy way to move the energy up through the heart, opening it, and connecting it with your head. It is very healing, even though I cannot do it “perfectly,” being from a less-flexible genetic stock. I do my best.

During my workout, I got to a series of variations on Cobra pose, which is where the Kundalini really flows into the heart chakra. When I began to do that, I felt a tremendous tidal wave of energy come over me, which made me feel nauseous. I had to stop. I sat in easy pose to meditate and understand what was happening.

Immediately, the room filled with Spirit beings who radiated the unconditional Love of the Divine. This was unsurprising on this day, given that Venus is, after all, the planet associated with Love. Spirit took the form of Saints, particularly Saint Francis of Assissi. We are not Catholic, so at first I didn’t understand the symbolism. And then they showed me:  everyone is a saint. Many saints had a moment of awakening, however. Prior to that moment, they were just an ordinary person, as flawed and possibly troubled as the rest of us. We love St. Francis and was familiar with his story, which is why he was used as my example. St. Francis was the son of a wealthy cloth merchant. He lived a life of wealthy privilege and then went to war. But something happened:  a spiritual experience, an awakening so profound that it changed him forever. He saw Love in everything, particularly in the natural world. He began to embody his Greater Soul here on Earth. His compassion made him famous, and now we remember his name.

The message was simple:  this can happen to ANYONE at ANY TIME. It has happened in the past; it is happening today; and we may see a time very soon in which this happens on a vast scale to many thousands or millions of people:  a divinely ordained awakening of those who contracted to do so now. And then, suddenly, everything is changed. We are changed. Awake, we begin to embody our true divinity here on Earth.

The Energy of Awakening is here. With each infusion, it intensifies. Those who are able to shift up their vibration in response will have an easier time than those who have trouble doing this, or who cannot do this. For some, the means of shifting their vibration will be their crossing over. There is no death. They simply cross the Veil. And one day, you will be able to see them clearly because there will be no Veil.

In truth, the age of miracles is the age of the commonplace. But we have been living in a state of seeming separation from this greater reality, from the Great I AM, so we do not remember. It is now time to remember. The end is not near; the beginning of a new golden age is near.

The following two videos may be helpful to some of you. The first one contains helpful information, and the second one contains a meditation that allows you to help yourself, the Earth, and all life. Even more important than the words, however, is the energy. Open yourself to the unlimited flow of Divine Love. Namaste.

Part 1:

Part 2: