Sympathy for the Devil

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I was in my mid-twenties, when I had a genius flash of insight about people: Most people are not reasonable. This insight explained a lot about my own sense of frustration and anger when dealing with anyone, whether at school, work, or at home. Appeals to logic and rationality, I realized, are largely fruitless, because …

The Tightening Corridors of Privilege

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When I left my husband for my the woman who would later become my wife, I did so in 2003 in a very liberal metropolitan area, where being gay, lesbian, trans, or anything in between is mostly accepted and unproblematic. We both know lesbian and gay couples who have lived it longer, however, and we …

Kids, You Can Play on My Lawn

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My university sent me a card congratulating me on the quarter-century anniversary of my degree. Quarter century. Not 25 years. A quarter century. Like most people in their 40s, I have fond memories of college and other days. I still listen to New Wave music (that’s 80s music, if you’re wondering). I still smile at Big …

The Worries of Children

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My children have been talking about Donald Trump a lot lately. It’s not because they’re hearing a lot about him at home; we seldom talk about politics around them. They’re hearing about him at school, where roughly one quarter of his classmates are Latino. Another way of putting this is that one quarter of his friends …

Safety is an Illusion

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Everyone wants to feel safe. No one wants to contemplate terrible things happening to themselves or their loved ones. But sometimes terrible things happen, and this isn’t something that anyone can control. The truth is that safety is a comforting idea, but it is not real. No one is ever completely safe. Bad things can …

You’re Not in Control

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Most people try to control their world to some degree. We do whatever we think will make us feel secure, safe, and happy. Driven by the allure of safety and order, we believe that we can control our environment, our jobs, the people around us, and even society or the world at large. This belief, …

How to Overcome Victim Mentality and Become a Powerful Creator

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Do you want to be happy? Do you want to feel at peace? Are you tired of struggling? Do you believe that the perfect set of circumstances must appear before any of this is possible? Maybe you’re waiting for a certain time. Maybe you’re waiting for enlightenment to reveal itself to you. Maybe you’re just …

Rebirth of the Warrior

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Just over a year ago, I finally decided to do something about my need to move. I knew I needed some form of physical activity, something that I could enjoy and sustain. So I joined a gym and started taking various classes and lifting a few weights. Over time, I changed some classes for others, …

You Are Free

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People in the “West” talk an awful lot about freedom. The U.S.A. probably talks about it the most (it’s a handy thing to go to war for), but 99.99% of all this talk is just lip service. As I discussed in another article (“Fearsome Freedom”), we say all the right things but don’t really mean …