You see, it hasn’t always been that I could enjoy a cold, crisp morning this way. For nearly ten years I fought the unidentifiable degenerative monster of chronic fatigue immune deficiency syndrome (CFIDS) and fibromyalgia, an illness that is characterized by chronic debilitating symptoms, including:  sore throat, swollen lymph glands, sleeplessness, extreme fatigue, low-grade fever, below-normal body temperature causing a frozen-to-the-core feeling, headaches, heart problems, mental confusion, muscle weakness and pain, neurological disorders, and depression, to name a few. Every symptom with this illness is chronic, painful, and often changing, therefore defying diagnosis and treatment. Each of these symptoms is excruciatingly debilitating, and combined they create the crippling loss of the life once known. As the symptoms lingered and worsened with each passing year, my spirit and passion for life evaporated. I lost my power, my energy to live, and I lost my self.

The numerous and mysterious chronic symptoms continued to worsen and deteriorate my body and life for years. After countless visits to the doctor, I was finally diagnosed with Epstein-Barr virus (one of the purported causes of CFIDS and fibromyalgia) and advised to go home and rest, since there was no treatment. I went nuts inside! Was he crazy? I was a wife, a mom, a psychotherapist, and an athlete. I couldn’t just go home and rest. I refused to live my life a victim of this illness, so the fighter in me woke up, and I became motivated to start looking for healing alternatives. I tried everything in an attempt to heal. I tried every herb and supplement that claimed to boost the immune system. I received massage, acupuncture, chiropractic, and energy bodywork, to name but a few. All of these were very helpful for keeping me functioning, but yet, they did not cure this beast of an illness for me. Something was missing, something deeper. Years went by, and the chronic symptoms worsened still further. I became deeply depressed, suicidal, and gravely ill. I realized that in all of my roles and responsibilities I had lost connection with the spirit essence of my self, my soul-self. Gradually my search brought me to several self-healing techniques that drastically changed my life and my health, methods that took me within my self and empowered me to heal.

The first technique I learned, Visualization, facilitated a major shift in consciousness for me. Visualization is an attention focusing technique of creating visual images in the mind. This is accomplished by harnessing the ingenious power of our focused imagination for our own creation. Since the mind reacts physiologically to imagined events the same way it does to real events, we can create health by visualizing health, just as we can manifest anything else we desire in this way. I created a vision of myself going to a beautiful place in nature on a warm and sunny day. In a safe and protected area in this beautiful place I would lie down, rest, and feel the warm sun penetrating into my frozen sick body. I visualized the warming sun melting into my solar plexus, the glowing warmth spreading out from my center into my chest and thighs and then radiating out to the tips of my toes and fingers, to the top of my head. I experienced warming glowing sunshine moving all through my body, healing my body, nurturing every aching muscle, every stressed cell. By practicing my intentional visualizations on a regular basis, my body became stronger, less fatigued, and far less pained. I also began to get in touch with the old me that used to be so strong, healthy, and fun loving. Intentional Visualization was the doorway to reconnecting with my soul-self, life force, and passion for living.

About a year later, I added self-hypnosis to my repertoire of therapies after becoming professionally trained as a Clinical Hypnotherapist. Hypnosis entails being guided into a relaxed alpha brain wave state through muscle relaxation and visualization in a serene environment. I have worked to adapt the technique of hypnosis for self-healing, and I achieved success by recording tapes with a series of body and mind relaxations, visualizations, and suggestions for healing. The tapes I created were expanded versions of the visualizations in which I imagined myself in a peaceful and beautiful environment, boosting my immune system and warming my body. Building on the success of these visualizations, I have added the inductions that facilitate deep relaxation and the suggestions I wanted for symptom relief and overall healing. The rest was simple. I created a warm, comfortable environment with no interruptions, played the tape, and just allowed myself to flow with the suggestions, taking me to beautiful relaxing far off places where my body was warm and healthy. Listening to this tape on a regular basis facilitated even deeper healing and my body grew stronger.

Once I became accustomed to the feeling of being in an altered state of consciousness, I began the practice of meditation to open myself to communication with the divine. This is a skill that was difficult for me at first. I am a type A, busy, busy, person. It was a struggle for me to quiet myself down enough to be successful, but with practice and focus, meditation has become a very important component in my healing practices. The common theme in all meditative practices is concentration and focus of the mind. Some meditations may focus on the breath, others a movement, still others an object. The actual object which the mind is focusing on varies with the many different forms of meditation, but the goal of mind focus, including or excluding any other action, remains essentially the same. The goal is to free the mind of mental dispersion, thus creating the state of mindfulness or bare awareness. In this state of bare awareness, we have the ability to connect with our inner soul-self and the divine energy of the universe. I have found that by shifting my focus away from my busy external life with meditation, a reawaking of my personal energy occurs that heals my body. Opening to my soul-self just 15 to 20 minutes a day helps me become aware, alive, and intuitive. The calm, quiet connection I find during and after meditation also facilitates an awareness of my body that I have not experienced in the past. With this awareness I am able to check in with my body’s feelings and needs so I can better take care of my self.

A short time later, I attended training in Shamanic Journeying. Journeying for personal growth and healing is a technique I call Personal Journeying, and it is the most profound healing technique I utilize. Each journey is personal, deep, and healing on all levels. A strong healthy body is but one of the many benefits I reap. Listening to steady drumming or music, a person journeys into an altered state of consciousness. The body relaxes, and the mind shifts into the deep relaxation of theta state. In this trance state, the journeyer travels inward to the world of the soul-self and spirit guides, to a reality that is tangible and accessible, just outside of our daily perceptions. Ecstatic energy and inner truth can be experienced in this special state that creates balance within the body. Nothing that I have tried in the past facilitated this deep and divine connection like journeying. Peace and calmness seep into my everyday life from this direct spirit and soul-self connection. Journeying on a regular basis is key in keeping my spirit and soul-self relationships strong, maintaining the calm, and deepening my physical healing. It is also fun to meet and interact with the many spirits who are there to help us live life to the fullest, to explore new worlds, and to personally connect with the divine.

Recently while journeying, I was shown that many illnesses, including CFIDS and fibromyalgia, are illnesses created by a blockage in our energy field and/or energy loss. The energy field is the vibrating life force that surrounds and runs through the body. In a healthy body, energy is constantly flowing and moving. If our energy becomes stagnant or stuck, it blocks the natural flow of life force, and illness, disease, and pain may manifest as a result. In addition to becoming blocked, we may unknowingly leak life force energy, depleting ourselves. We burn it away during periods of stress. We may give it away to loved ones who need support or to enemies during conflict. As our energy drains away, we are less able to protect ourselves from foreign invaders such as the bacteria, viruses, and allergens which find a home in our bodies and make us ill. The key to healing is to clear these energy blockages and prevent energy loss by re-igniting our life force with moving energy.

The body has the innate ability to heal itself when put into balance. The healing techniques I utilize create this needed balance in various ways. First, the physical act of entering into visualization, self-hypnosis, meditation, or journeying is one of trance and total body relaxation. For that period of time, and the quiet period afterward, the body and mind are allowed to go into a place of peaceful rest and revitalization. Also, because the nature of these techniques is connecting with Spirit and our soul essence, we experience energy vibrations of a higher frequency than our normal human dense vibrational rate. I was shown in a journey that the vibrational rate of an ill person is slower than that of a healthy person. Therefore, it is essential to increase our vibrational rate to activate healing. Using these integrated techniques of direct Spirit connection, we channel the high frequency vibrations through our physical body releasing blockages, exciting, energizing, and changing the body systems at the atomic and molecular levels. The more a person connects with this energy source, the stronger their own energy becomes until they are fully healthy and vibrating at a higher rate. In addition to phenomenal physical healing, these techniques connect us to the vast world of knowledge, wisdom, and insight of the great mysteries where we can find our divine spirit guides, our soul-self, our power, our health, and our passion for life.

In teaching these techniques, I have witnessed incredible physical healing and enlightenment for many people, and in utilizing these energy-connecting methods on an ongoing daily basis, I have created a full recovery from CFIDS and fibromyalgia in my body. My life is back, and I am able to enjoy it more fully than ever before. I am alive, awake, and aware. I am strong and energy-filled. This summer I bicycled over 4000 miles and ran several days per week, while still having energy for working, writing, teaching, and living!

Today, on the eve of the New Year, in addition to my many blessings, I am thankful to be able to enjoy a simple run on this cold, quiet morning. I am thankful for the techniques that fill me with energy and restore my health, for the healing miracles I have been blessed to witness, and now, to be able to share these with others.

© 2009 Colleen Deatsman, www.colleendeatsman.com

About the Author

Colleen Deatsman is the co-author of Seeing in the Dark: Claim Your Own Shamanic Power Now and in the Coming Age (Red Wheel Weiser 2009) and the author of Energy for Life: Connect with the Source (Llewellyn 2006), Inner Power: Six Techniques for Increased Energy and Self-Healing (Llewellyn 2005), and numerous on-line and magazine articles. She holds a Masters Degree and is a Licensed Professional Counselor, Licensed Social Worker, Shamanic Practitioner, Energy Movement Healer, Reiki Master, Certified Hypnotherapist, and Certified Alternative Healing Consultant at Circle of Life Counseling and Healing Services in Mason, Michigan. Colleen is also an expert by personal experience. She has healed herself from chronic fatigue immune deficiency syndrome (CFIDS), fibromyalgia, hypoglycemia, hypothyroidism, and asthma.