Many people say they want peace:  peace among nations, peace among tribes or ethnic groups, peace among religions, even peace within their own family. "Peace on Earth, good will toward men," as those who observe Christmas sing each year. With so many people wishing for peace, why don't we have it?

WAR IS OVER.
If you want it.
~ John Lennon & Yoko Ono

It is one thing to wish for peace—that elusive, always-in-the-future state of bliss. It is quite another to practice it and embrace what peace actually means. Peace begins with each of us. If we are not at peace, then the world is not at peace.

Peace means finding a new way to be entertained. The reason the news media promote divisive, sensational content is because people find it entertaining. We seek out views that agree with our own and simultaneously ridicule the so-called opposition. This satisfies our ego's need to feel right. The media also engage our sense of Schadenfreude by pointing out the mistakes and missteps of the people with whom we disagree or dislike. This engagement, which pits groups of people against one another, is not peaceful.

Peace also means compromise. No one person or group is going to get everything they want all the time. It is unrealistic. Yet, we tend to view compromise as weakness, failure, or being made "wrong." In reality, however, compromise is strength. Compromise is how everyone's needs can get met. There is enough for everyone on this planet. Peace also means being able to share, which requires us to relinquish our fear of lack.

Fear is the single greatest barrier to peace:  fear that we won't get enough or have enough. Fear that someone else will get "more," which somehow diminishes us—even if we already have all that we need. Fear of the "other," because we don't understand them or because their views don't validate our own. Fear of being "wrong."

When we live in fear—and most of us do, at least to some extent—we respond by trying to control external circumstances to make our fear go away. This usually involves trying to control other people, which may include arguing a point relentlessly in an effort to change someone else's views. The ego sincerely believes that if it can make other people "come around" to its way of thinking, then it is "right." At its worst, however, the ego may do more than use words to try to change people. Guns, bombs, and oppressive legislation all have their origins in fear as well.

Of course, as I've written elsewhere, we can't control anything except our own reactions to the world. And there is where we can find our peace.

Peace is not found in politics, treaties, or legislation, although those things can reflect a peaceful society. Peace originates within each of us, and it begins when we decide that we really want it for ourselves first. When you make the choice to live a peaceful life, you recognize your own power over your peace. If something makes you feel unpeaceful, you can eliminate it from your life or change how you think about it or react to it. You can choose to disengage from activities and responses that are not peaceful. If reading the news disturbs your peace, stop reading the news until such time as you can do it and maintain your peace. If arguing with your family disturbs your peace, make another choice about how you engage or react to your family; they may never change, but you can. And when you change, it will affect the dynamic of everything around you.

Non-peaceful people don't know how to respond to peaceful ones because peaceful people do not feel "normal" to non-peaceful people. This is because a person who is truly at peace does not loop into the fears of others. Fearful people will do anything to get a response that feels comfortable to them, and the response they want is generally not a peaceful one. In other words, if you're used to arguing with someone, and they stop participating in the argument, you are no longer sure how to react, so you unconsciously pull out all the stops to get that person to start arguing with you again. People whose peace is disturbed want to disturb the peace of others.

This cycle of non-peace will continue forever unless we as individuals make a conscious choice to be peaceful. It doesn't mean that we never act when action is called for, but it does mean that when we do act, we act in a way that is peaceful. If we look at our great spiritual leaders, we find all the examples we need to choose a peaceful life:  Martin Luther King, Jr., Mother Theresa, Mahatma Gandhi, Buddha, and Jesus Christ to name a few. Most people would agree that these peaceful people nevertheless managed to influence a great many people for the better. Indeed, some of them changed the world.

Peace is incredibly powerful. We cannot force the world to change for the better, but when we live peace, we create it for ourselves and others. Are you ready for that? Are you ready for what peace really looks like? Are you willing to drop your fears, judgments, and need to control? Are you willing to accept people as they are, without trying to change them? Can you live and let live, even when you disagree? Can you compromise when compromise is needed?

Peace is here now. If you want it.

Related articles:

• Out of control
  
• The illusion of strength through fear
  
• Letting go of violence
• Who is right?
• Fearsome freedom
• Finding peace in an uncertain world