Kids, You Can Play on My Lawn

Davy Jones & Maureen McCormick from the Brady Bunch

Davy Jones & Maureen McCormick from the Brady Bunch

My university sent me a card congratulating me on the quarter-century anniversary of my degree. Quarter century. Not 25 years. A quarter century.

Like most people in their 40s, I have fond memories of college and other days. I still listen to New Wave music (that’s 80s music, if you’re wondering). I still smile at Big Hair and leg warmers. I remember when MTV actually played music. I remember growing up in the 70s with Marcia Brady, coveting her hair. So yes, when I find my body no longer recovers as quickly as it used to, or I absent-mindedly put down my phone and then wonder where it is three minutes later, I know that I’m not 21 anymore. Some of the kids I went to high school with are dead. It’s just what happens.

Aging, particularly in a society that sees this as a Bad Thing (cover your gray! dress younger! lose weight!) can make one feel anxious:  we don’t have as much time left. The world changes around us, and we no longer understand the slang, the technology, the mindset of those who were born decades after us. In our insecurity, we may begin to denigrate the younger generations, perpetuating the “generation gap.”

An older woman on Facebook recently referred to the Millenials as the people who are “raising more entitled kids.” It’s funny how we tend to see people our age as somehow better than the younger kids. My generation had its share of entitled kids, I have to say, which can only reflect poorly on the Boomers who were raising them. What does that even mean, though? Are we to believe that there were no assholes before 1990?

The world is changing, and it feels like chaos to the older generations. I was raised in a culture that had commonality in the Fonz, Archie Bunker, and Daisy Duke’s ridiculously short shorts. “What’choo talkin’ ’bout, Willis?” was instantly recognized. We shared a common lingo. We went to movie theaters—a lot. We swam without life jackets. When I was very young, we rode without seatbelts. And while all of this was my valid experience, that doesn’t make it necessarily the best possible experience. Because if my parents’ car had been in an accident, I would’ve been thrown out the window. And the long-term value of a show like “Diff’rent Strokes” can be easily debated.

My children cannot even conceive of the world in which I grew up. My daughter asked, “What kinds of apps did you have when you were a kid?” So I told her about my Atari and my Texas Instruments computer that didn’t have a hard drive, but I loaded games onto it with a cassette tape—which she’s never even seen. My kids have also never seen “The Brady Bunch” and they may never do so. When I showed my daughter “The Jetsons” at the age of three, her response was a yawn of complete boredom. The things that felt special to me can never feel that way to her. We have moved on.

We have a nice TV. We mostly use it to rent streaming movies from Amazon, or watch Netflix. We don’t have cable. My son mostly uses the TV for the Playstation. Their preferred entertainment is Youtube. Youtubers like DanTDM and Twaimz speak to them the same way that Marcia Brady spoke to me. The difference is that Marcia Brady was created for me to idolize by television executives, but my children are finding their peers and deciding for themselves whom they like and admire.

I’ve heard plenty of Generation X’ers and older folks complain about social media and the way the young people spend their time on Snapchat, Instagram, Tumblr, or whatever the latest rage is, but it’s because they don’t understand what they’re doing or why. Our kids are forging their own commonality, still based on communication and media, but in a different way. “The Dukes of Hazzard” was no better than a Youtube account, and many might argue that it was far worse.

In many ways, the Internet is like the Wild West:  it’s mostly unregulated and free, some people are good citizens, some are morally questionable, and some are just outright crooked and disgusting. We are no longer confined to Walter Cronkite for the news; now you can pick your own preferred source (and viewpoint) from anywhere in the world. For every argument, there is a blog with a counterargument. We have gone from four major networks (I’m including PBS because FOX came about when I was older) to millions of media outlets, from professional/corporate to homegrown/some guy in a garage. This is a little scary for some folks.

The world is changing, and our kids are leading the way. We can’t stop the changes, but we can support our youth in making them. We can adapt to these changes, or we can be left behind. Whatever we decide, screaming, “Get off my lawn!” is just howling in the wind.

How To Be a Decent Parent

Mom and Wren

In one of my interviews for my book, Discovering the Inner Child, the interviewer asked me how an adult child can come to forgive their parents. It was one of the first questions. He was a parent himself, so I know that what he was really asking is, “Will my children forgive me for my mistakes?”

The title of this post is how to be a decent parent, not a great parent, the best parent ever, or a perfect parent. Because perfect parents don’t exist. All parents make mistakes and do stupid things that they may regret later. So the goal should be, how can I be the best parent that I can be? In short, how can you be good enough?

There are millions of books out there with the goal of persuading you that if you follow their advice, you will be a superstar parent. Your kids won’t need psychotherapy! “Here’s how you do it right,” they say. Mostly what these books accomplish, however, is to make you doubt yourself at every turn. Some days, it seems like the entire world is judging your skills as a parent.

The truth is that being a decent parent isn’t that hard as long as you put forth the effort in a few key areas.

Meet Their Needs

This should be a no-brainer, but… Feed your kids, preferably on a predictable schedule so that they don’t have to wonder when their needs will be met. Buy appropriate clothing. Keep appropriate clothing clean. For lower-income families, I know that this can be tough. I’ve shopped garage sales for my kids’ clothing, too, so I get it. Ask for help if you need it, but provide the basic necessities of life.

Notice that I said “needs,” not wants. If you can give your kid some wants, then that’s okay. But don’t give them their every want. It won’t serve them. Few things are as unattractive as an entitled adult. So don’t make one. Saying “no” when it’s appropriate will make you a decent parent, not a mean parent. Remember, your kids will love you if you love them. You don’t have to purchase it.

Be Present for Part of the Day

In our crazy go-go society, it’s hard to be completely present 24/7, so make a concerted effort to be present for your children at some points during the day. What does this mean? It means talking to your children, and then listening to what they have to say. It means asking them about their day, their worries, their dreams. It means listening to the gossip about the other kids in their class. It means hearing the same silly jokes you heard as a kid, over and over again. It means looking in their eyes and hugging them on your lap.

My kids understand which parts of the day are “me” time. After breakfast, I drink coffee, read the paper, and basically wake up. It’s not my best talking time and never has been. After school time, driving to Taekwondo time, and the very sacred dinner time, where we all sit and talk to one another make up for this. Identify which points in your day offer the best times to interact and be present with your kids, and then make the most of it. If you know you need an hour to recover after work, then that’s not a good time. But after that hour, you should be able to interact with your kids at some point.

Show Up

Showing up when it matters to your kids is one of the most important aspects of being a decent parent. If you say you’ll pick them up at 4pm, don’t show up at 5pm. If you know that they’re in the school play, you’d better show up and applaud. If they’re in the middle of a recital or belt test, turn off your cell phone—never get up in the middle of something like this to answer a phone call. Your kid will notice, and they will believe that you value that phone call more than you value them. And never, ever show up late for a performance. I saw the tears of a classmate when her father showed up after her performance was over. He’d missed it. And he’ll never get it back.

Showing up also means being available when your child wants to share something important with you. If they’ve practiced a little play all day and want you to come watch them, then take the time to do. Show up for their play. Look at their artistic masterpiece. Listen to them play that new song on the piano.

Showing up means you value them. Not showing up means you don’t really care. My cousin was crushed when his alcoholic mother didn’t show up for his high school graduation. It’s not that he was surprised, exactly. But he had hoped that this time, she would make an effort. For him. And she didn’t.

My own parents didn’t show up to my second wedding. There were lame excuses:  they wanted to replace their roof. Wanted to, not needed to. “Your wedding isn’t at a convenient time for us,” they said. It was four months away, not four days away. I’m not a fool. I understood that they did not see this as a “real” wedding, since I was marrying a woman, and at that time it wasn’t even “legal” yet! And I’m sure my mother thought that if she wasn’t there, it simply couldn’t occur. If a same-sex couple gets married and a mother isn’t there to see it, does it exist? I’ve written a lot about my mother’s mental illness, and I get it rationally, but it still hurts. If I look back, this was breaking point number one. So the moral is, don’t provide your kids with breaking points. Suck it up and BE THERE FOR THEM, even if you disagree with their choices.

Say “I’m Sorry”

You are going to screw up. Your choices are to screw up and say nothing, which teaches your children that your feelings are more important than everyone else’s, or you can screw up and say, “Dang, I screwed up. I’m sorry.” The latter teaches your children to take responsibility for their actions.

Other good things to say are “Thank you” and “Please.” I get that as the parent, you’re the person in authority, and you may feel that saying these things will undermine your authority. But if you want to be a decent parent, you will be a benevolent authority and not a dictator. Good manners go a long way. Would you prefer working for a boss who said “please” and “thank you” or a boss who barked orders at you? Love and gentleness will help you cultivate an ongoing friendship with your kids. Fear, on the other hand, will only cultivate enemies.

The truth is, your kids are going to know when you screw up. And they will know that you know that you screwed up. So take some responsibility for yourself and apologize when it’s called for. It’s the adult thing to do.

Love Them Unconditionally

Recognize that your children are not you. They are not you, and they will never be you, no matter what beliefs and ideals you try to instill in them. Some of this will take, if done with love, and some may not. Your job is to love your children regardless of this fact.

You will not always like your children’s behavior, their choices, their hairstyle, their beliefs, their politics, or their choice of mates. But you can always choose to like them, and to love them, no matter what.

I always say to my kids, “There is nothing you can do, feel, say, or think that will make me not love you.” And I mean it. Sometimes they piss me off. They’re supposed to do that. But I still love them completely. In some ways, they’re like me. In many ways, they’re not. That’s okay. I just want them to be themselves, to explore themselves, to live up to their full potential, whatever that may look like. I just want them to be happy, and I’m not the best judge of that. They are.

Burying Abigail and Learning to Reconnect

My daughter and Abigail, back in healthier days

We had to put a beloved cat to sleep this week. This was painful and difficult, but as with all things, it came with its own set of profound lessons.

Abigail came to us as a middle-aged cat, and we enjoyed her for five years. For the past year, we knew that she was ill—likely some form of cancer—so we watched to make sure she wasn’t suffering too much. This past week, we could tell that she was suffering, and she hadn’t been able to eat in at least two weeks. It was time.

We don’t believe in spending hundreds or thousands of dollars that we don’t really have to try to prolong the life of an animal with a terminal illness who will probably just be made more miserable by the process. Death is another part of life, and we will probably see Abigail again in a new, healthy kitten body one day. But parting is still painful.

When I had her put to sleep, we didn’t really have the money for the cremation, too, so I opted to take her body back home for burial. At the time, I wasn’t very happy about it, because I was already so upset, and dealing with her mortal shell seemed overwhelming to me. But in retrospect, I’m so very glad that I did. I learned something important, and so did the entire family.

When we told the children to say goodbye to Abigail, they did so almost casually, as though she’d be back again in an hour. They are 6 and 8, and death did not seem real to them. They couldn’t really grasp it, although we had lost other cats before. But when I returned home at dusk with Abigail’s lifeless body, they began to understand.

I asked our dear friend Jonathan to help me bury her, in the dark and the rain, out underneath our “Christmas tree,” a large, tall fir tree in the corner of our yard. The children came out in their coats and galoshes to see what was up. I handed the flashlight to Wren, so Jonathan could keep digging, and then I went to the car to get Abigail.

She was still warm and heavy, and I petted her and invited the children to do the same. This was their first visceral experience with death:  here was the lifeless body of their old friend. This is what death looked like.

When the hole was ready, I laid her in it gently and made her “comfortable.” “She looks like she’s sleeping,” said my son Harry. I said a few words and sobbed, and then she was covered in dirt. This had a profound effect on my son, who worried that she would not be okay beneath the dirt. “Her soul is gone, Harry,” we told him. “Her body is like an old coat that she outgrew. She doesn’t need it anymore.”

My son, who had so nonchalantly yelled “Goodbye!” to Abigail, now understood. He went to his room and cried. My daughter, seeing my distress, was sad and subdued. Death was now real.

I don’t believe in hiding “the real world” from my children, and death is an important experience that happens to us all. I was thankful that we buried Abigail, and for the lessons that this brought to us. But even more than that, I began to realize—viscerally—how disconnected we have become.

Our society has become so specialized that the bodies of our loved ones disappear out the back door, are “prettied up,” and laid in the ground (possibly sight unseen) or cremated without our direct involvement. Most of us in the west have no idea how to produce—much less prepare—our own food. We have no idea how to make our clothes, build a dwelling, or teach our children about the trees and the stars. We are isolated from one another in little boxes, performing specialized functions while others take care of our dirty work for us. And it’s precisely our “dirty work”—the stuff of life—that connects us to one another and to the planet itself.

We no longer gather around the fire as a community and sing and dance. We have “talented” professionals whom we pay to watch instead. We no longer gather in a circle and participate in our own unique spiritual experience. We have “professional” religious people who tell us what our experience should be instead. We no longer participate in the cycle of the moon and the seasons and its impact on our world and spirit. Instead, we shop for certain holidays and curse the winter snows or the summer heat, confident that Safeway’s shelves will continue to magically fill. We no longer mark the passage of time by the stars or retell the stories that they illustrate and wonder why they matter to us as human beings in this plane of existence. We no longer see the stars, and we don’t notice their absence.

We are suffering from a profound spiritual malaise because we are disconnected from the source of our spirits:  the Earth, the trees and plants, the waters, the stars, the entire cycle of birth, life, death, and rebirth. We have forgotten the ways of our ancestors, whom we dismiss as “primitive” and “superstitious.” We believe that we can control nature and bend it to our will. Our hubris and arrogance are precisely what is killing the planet we depend on for survival.

There is a cure, of course. We can reconnect to the earth and with each other. We can reconnect with our inner divine spirit. We can see it everywhere we look in the world. The trees have a spirit. The waters have a spirit. Everything is alive and One, and we are a part of that. I miss Abigail terribly, but I’m so grateful for her final lesson to us. Bury me, experience me, honor me, remember me, and then look for me again! Love is eternal.

Spirituality for Kids: The Origins of Santa Claus

The children love Santa Claus, so I thought it would be fun to discuss his origins with the children. There are many good articles on the Internet, and I have relied heavily on those to create a cobbled-together, simplified, and more child-friendly take that I can read to my kids. All credit is due to the following sources for this information:

All of these posts make for fun reading for older kids and adults.

Odin

Odin riding Sleipnir by Arthur Rackham

Odin riding Sleipnir by Arthur Rackham

Once upon a time in northern Europe, the great God Odin, or Wodan, reigned over all the Norse Gods. It is from him that we have the name Wednesday, or Wodan’s day. Odin was the god of wisdom, magic, runes, poetry, and war. His name means, “The Inspired One.”

Odin could travel between the worlds like a shaman does. His two black ravens, Huginn (Thought) and Muninn (Memory) brought him news of what was happening in the world. Odin flew overhead on his white horse Sleipnir, who had 8 legs. Odin was said to be a tall, old man with a white beard and wearing a cloak. He was beloved among his friends and followers.

Odin only had one eye because he had offered one of them in exchange for wisdom at the well of Mimir. This was given to him, and he was able to see the outer world with his good eye, and he could see the inner worlds with his black, removed eye. This ability to see both worlds made him a powerful and enlightened being.

Odin represents light and darkness, white and black, which are both part of the Oneness of all things.

In some traditions of Odin’s Yule-time ride, children would place their boots near the chimney, filled with treats for the horse Sleipnir. Odin would reward them for their kindness with food, candy, or gifts. This tradition still continues in Belgium, Germany, and the Netherlands. In other germanic countries the practice has been replaced with hanging stockings.

The Celts and the Holly King

The Ghost of Christmas Present

The Ghost of Christmas Present from Charles Dickens’s “A Christmas Carol” looks like the Holly King.

From the ancient Druids, we get a pair of kings who fight for supremacy at Yule.

The Oak King (or king of the waxing year) kills his brother, the Holly King (the king of the waning year) at the time of the Winter Solstice, or Yule. The Oak King then reigns until the Summer Solstice when the two battle again, this time with the Holly King winning the battle. Holly and mistletoe are traditional at Yule because they commemorate the battle. The holly was hung in honor of the Holly King, and the mistletoe (which grows high in the branches of oak trees) was hung in honor of the Oak King.

Although the Oak King and the Holly King are mortal enemies at Midsummer and Yule, they are two sides of a whole, and neither could exist without the other.

After the Holly King’s victory at the Summer Solstice, he begins preparations to save and maintain his people through the cold winter. In order to accomplish his mission, he travels the land to hunt, fish, and harvest. He transports these life-saving gifts in a wagon or sled pulled by eight deer (these animals were sacred to the Celtic Gods, and there were a total of 8 solar sabbats per year). He shares them with all of his people, and in exchange, the people provide care and comfort to his team of deer.

The Holly King has been depicted with a Holly wreath as a crown. He traditionally wore green garments with red accents, just like a holly tree.

The Holly King lived up north, where he could survive in the cold during the reign of his brother in the spring and summer. The Oak King, who needed the warmth to survive, lived in the warm forests of the south, and he falls asleep while his brother of the cold reigns over the world during the fall and winter months.

Other Legends

The Norse god Thor rode the sky in a chariot drawn by two goats.

A folk depiction of Father Christmas riding a goat. The Norse god Thor also rode the sky in a chariot drawn by two goats.

The ancient Romans celebrated Saturnalia, which featured big feasts with a lot of merrymaking, dancing, and the exchange of gifts. This festival was meant to celebrate the return of the sun on the shortest days of the year and to counteract the depression due to lack of sunlight.

In the Norse myths, Balder is a Sun God and the son of Frigg, a Goddess for whom Friday is named (Frigga’s Day). Frigg was a loving mother who went to earth and asked all of the animals and elements not to hurt Balder. Rocks and metal agreed that they wouldn’t form arrows and kill him, and others promised her as well. But Loki, a trickster, discovered that Frigg had not asked the lowly mistletoe not to hurt her son. So Loki made an arrow made of mistletoe and tricked the blind God of Winter to shoot it into the air. The arrow hit Balder, badly hurting him, and therefore the Sun. The Yule (Winter Solstice) was a vigil to see if the wounded Sun would live another summer.

In the 1840s, an elf from Nordic folklore named Tomte or Nisse started delivering the Christmas presents in Denmark. The Tomte was portrayed as a short, bearded man dressed in gray clothes and a red hat. He rode through the sky in a chariot draw by goats.

In many of the early legends, presents are given to children or young families to represent abundance and fertility. After all, this is the time of the rebirth of the Sun. Presents were exchanged to honor that rebirth and to give wishes or hopes for abundance and good crops in the coming year.

Saint Nicholas

A 19th-century Russian icon of St Nicholas, in the St. Nicholas Center collection

A 19th-century Russian icon of St Nicholas, in the St. Nicholas Center collection

In the 3rd and 4th centuries, a Christian bishop named Nicholas was said to have lived in Myra, Turkey. He had a reputation for goodness, benevolence, and for performing miracles for the people. Many stories are told of his generosity and caring, especially for children. In those days, the primary color for the robes of priests and other church officials was white, although the colors changed over the years, and he was often portrayed in red robes later.

It isn’t certain that Saint Nicholas was a real person. As a result, the Catholic church demoted him and removed his feast day (December 6) from their calendar.

Sinterklaas and Santa Claus

Santa gets his name from the Dutch legend of Sinterklaas or Sinter Klaas. Dutch settlers in the United States brought this legend with them, and he was popularized by writers such as Washington Irving.

This Norman Rockwell painting shows the modern Santa, but he still bears the holly in his hair.

This Norman Rockwell painting shows the modern Santa, but he still bears the holly in his hat.

Sinterklaas is an old man with white hair and a long, full beard. He wears a long red cape over a traditional bishop’s alb, or long white tunic.

The name “Santa Claus” was first used in the American press in 1773. By then, he had lost his bishop’s clothing and looked like a large-bellied man with a pipe in a green winter coat. In the poem Old Santeclaus in 1821, he was described as an old man on a reindeer sleigh who brought presents to children. In the poem A Visit From St. Nicholas, the author Clement Clarke Moore included details such as the names of the reindeer; Santa Claus’s laughs, winks, and nods; and the method by which Saint Nicholas (whom he refers to as an elf), returns up the chimney.

One of the first modern images of Santa came in 1863 by American cartoonist Thomas Nast for Harper’s Weekly. In 1869 a color collection of Nast’s pictures were published in which Santa appears in a red suit. A poem by George Webster called Santa Claus and His Works places Santa’s home near the North Pole in the ice and snow. Over time, images of Santa in red became more popular.

Discussion

Your children will always lead the way with their own questions, but you can also use these to get the ball rolling:

  • How are these stories similar? How are they different?
  • Why do you think the image of Santa changed over the years?
  • Which of these stories did you like the best? Why?
  • What is the Spirit of Santa Claus? What does it mean to you?

Spirituality for Kids: Christmas and Yule

christmas vs yuleFor my first spiritual classroom with the kids, I decided to start with something they were already extremely familiar with:  Christmas. While I had talked briefly about the various meanings of the holiday in the past, I decided we would look at 3 different perspectives:

  • The Bible nativity according to St. Luke
  • An alternative Christian nativity story
  • The First Yule, the pagan story of the birth of the Sun King

The Biblical Perspective

My bible is the Holy Bible: From the Ancient Eastern Text: George M. Lamsa’s Translation From the Aramaic of the Peshitta Revised Edition by Lamsa, George M. [1985], which is a fairly academic translation that I like. Nevertheless, the text is still a bit hard for a 6- and an 8-year-old kid to follow, so I googled to find a more kid-friendly version of the nativity as told in the book of St. Luke.

I read The Christmas Story, as told at this link.

The Other Bible

The other Bible I own is The Other Bible, edited by Willis Barnstone. It includes a number of other texts that are contemporary with the Bible but not actually included in it, because they were considered blasphemous, or what have you. In it is a A Latin Infancy Gospel:  The Birth of Jesus, from the Christian Apocrypha. This is a medieval document, and the exact source(s) is unknown. All of the text in this book is pretty difficult, so here is a more kid-friendly summary of this short text:

A girl came a with a birthing chair, and she stopped when she saw Joseph and Mary.

“Child, where are you going with that chair?” asked Joseph.

She said, “My mistress sent me here because she was summoned to help with an unusual birth, and that a girl would give birth for the first time. So she sent me ahead with the chair.”

Joseph saw that the midwife was coming, and he greeted her and said that he sought a Hebrew midwife. The midwife asked, “Who is the young woman who is going to give birth in this cave?”

Joseph answered, “Mary, who was promised to me, who was raised in the Lord’s Temple.”

The midwife said, “She is not your wife?”

Joseph replied, “She was promised to me, but was made pregnant by the Holy Spirit.”

The midwife said, “Is this true?”

Joseph said, “Come and see.”

They went to the cave, and Joseph invited her in, but the midwife was afraid of the great light that shone in the cave. The light stayed all day and through the night.

Joseph said, “Mary, I have brought Zachel, a midwife. She is afraid to enter the cave.” Mary smiled, and Joseph ordered the midwife to attend her.

After many hours, the midwife cried, “Lord, great God, have mercy, because I have never seen or heard or dreamt of such a thing, that a baby could be born without blood or pain. This girl conceived as a virgin, gave birth as a virgin, and remained a virgin after birth.”

The midwife later related the events to Symeon, Joseph’s son:

“When I saw her, Mary held her head, listening to Heaven, and was very still. I asked her if she felt any pain, but she said nothing. As it came to be time for the birth, everything was silent. The winds stopped, and there was no motion in the trees. You couldn’t hear the sound of water, and the streams did not flow. The earth itself stopped turning, and time stopped. Everything was silent, waiting.

“When the baby was born, the light came forth, and Mary worshiped the child, who shone bright and beautiful like the sun. He appeared as peace, soothing the whole world. I heard the voices of invisible beings, who said, ‘Amen.’ The light of the child obscured the light of the sun, and the cave was filled with bright light and a sweet smell. 

“I was amazed, but after a while, the light shrank, and the baby looked just like any other child. I touched him and lifted him, and he had no weight. He also did not have any mark or blemish on him. He did not cry as newborn children often do. While I held him, he laughed at me and looked at me intently. Suddenly a great light came forth from his eyes like a great flash of lightning.”

The First Yule (A Wiccan Tale)

Christmas exists because of the pagan festival Yule, which marks the winter solstice and the birth of the Sun King. Any balanced study of Christmas should be sure to include this perspective.

The First Yule, a story for children, is at this link. 

Discussion

These stories raised a number of questions, including whether angels could actually talk to people. I explained that they could, although it might not look like they were standing next you and physically talking. I taught the children a simple meditation to learn to talk with angels and light beings, which I will share in a later blog.

Other good questions to ask include:

  • What are the similarities among these stories?
  • What are the differences?
  • Can there be multiple ways of telling a story? If so, can there be one that is more “correct” than another? Does it matter?
  • Which story did you like the best, and why?

Alternative Spiritual Instruction for Kids

spiritual studies for childrenMy daughter came home from school recently and began to ask questions about the Bible. A schoolmate had a children’s version on the bus, and had been telling her about her conservative Christian beliefs, so this made Wren curious. Her friend had said that the book was so powerful that it foretold the future, and it told how humanity and the earth was created. So we had a very animated dinner discussion about what the Bible was, what some people believed about the Bible, what we believed about the Bible, and about sacred texts in general.

We have always talked openly about spiritual matters with our children, and they understand that we believe that everything in existence is part of the one Divinity, the god/goddess/Creator, or whatever you’d like to call it. We talk about past lives easily, so none of this is new. But I knew that eventually my children would signal that they were ready for more intensive exploration of the spiritual realm, and now that time has come.

The most important thing, I tell my children, is that you know that your understanding of God can and should come from within you, and not be told to you by someone else, including me. Toward that end, we have begun our own version of “Sunday School” on the weekends, which is going to lead us down some interesting paths.

I believe it’s important for the children to understand what’s in the Bible, the Quran, the Bhagavad-Gita, the Tao Te-Ching, and the many thousands of stories that comprise human consciousness and history, whether they are Native American, African, or from the European shamanic traditions now known as Wicca.

As we go, I’ll blog about the material we’re covering, and how you can talk about it with your kids in an open, unconditional way. I expect this to evolve in wonderful ways, and I’m really excited to open these discussions with my children and to help them expand their worldview and understand the culture they live in.

The most important thing is that my children are excited to learn these things! So let the fun begin!