Your inner child is your core emotional being, the "person" who shares your body with you and who can respond to situations before your grown-up self even has a chance to think about it. This core self determines how you behave in relationships, with your children, with your parents, and even on the job. In other words, it shows up any time your emotions are involved.

Failure to "control" the inner child's response usually makes people feel angry with themselves. It makes them feel like a failure for reacting "that way" again, whether the response is tears, anger, self-sabotage, or any other negative outcome. So what can we do about our inner child? Why does it continually act out when we don't want it to? Why can't we just act like grown-ups?

We can heal our inner child and help it to "grow up," but we have to be willing to do the work. The first step is to meet your inner child, and acknowledge what it wants and needs. Then you can begin the process of reparenting your inner child, and reparenting yourself.

It's very important to treat your inner child with the respect and love that it deserves. You've spent your entire life treating your inner child—yourself—very harshly. You've told him or her that they are a failure, that they are powerless, that they are unworthy, that they're stupid or ugly, or whatever horrible thing you've ever told yourself. Let that stop now.

The following meditation will help you to see your inner child in a new way. I recommend doing this more than once; you're likely to learn something new about your inner child every time you do this. Healing the inner child is a process, and as you proceed, you will become aware of what the issues are. However, realizing that you have an issue does not mean that you've healed the issue. The realization is just the beginning.

Prepare for the meditation

Sit in a comfortable chair and relax. Take at least 7 deep breaths, inhaling through the nose, and exhaling forcefully through the mouth. Mentally ask the Archangels to cut any cords that are blocking your healing for this issue. Also ask them to assist you in the meditation. Take a few moments and feel them come in for you and comfort you.

The meditation

Look within and visualize your inner child. See your inner child with all of the issues and baggage that he or she has accumulated. See your inner child with all of those traits in yourself that you dislike. See the mess that you imagine your inner child to be, and all the things that make him or her imperfect in your eyes.

Sit with this a moment.

• How do you feel about your inner child?
• How do you feel about yourself?

Now, take a magic eraser and scrub away all of the issues, baggage, imperfections, and traits that you dislike. Scrub them all away from your inner child and look to see what's underneath.

• When they are gone, what is underneath? What is left?
• What else do you see?
• What does your inner child look like?

Sit with this a moment. Connect with what you see.

• What feelings come up?
• What memories?
• How old is your inner child?

Be with this vision, and come back when you are ready.

After the meditation

I highly recommend journaling your thoughts, feelings, and experiences.

Know that all of the things that were removed by your magic eraser are not really part of you. The magic eraser simply helps to reveal the real you. Can you have compassion for your child self and what they have experienced? Can you love your child self?

This meditation is also useful with other people. If you're having a real issue with someone, go through this meditation and visualize the person you're having a difficult time with. This will help you to see them as they really are and help you to be more compassionate with them.

Related articles:

• Inner child healing
• Toxic parents