By Asha Hawkesworth: Shadow of Solace story background

Background: Shadow of Solace
I wrote Shadow of Solace around the time that I began to learn and use Reiki. In light of what I have learned since writing this, a better title would be, "How NOT to be a Healer." How not to heal The worst thing a healer can do is to get their own energy personally involved with that of a client. That is, to take on any of the client's energy themselves. The best healers will keep themselves clear and removed from the process. After all, it is not the person who is doing the healing, it is God, or the Universe, if you prefer. So the biggest problem that Brynna has is that she takes everyone's sorrow and makes it her own, thereby making herself sick. Ouch. Exorcising Brynna I think that this story is my way of acknowledging, and then finally exorcising, the Brynna in me. Every healer I went to for years told me about the terrible sadness and grief that they could feel in me. And yes, after they worked on me, I would cry and feel it, but I had no clue why or where it came from. To me, I thought I was perfectly happy and content. So where were the tears coming from? The tears were coming from my own sadness at not being seen, not being heard, and not being respected as I grew up. They were the tears of my inner child, who could not help herself, and who tried to help others heal, but could not and had no idea how to begin. They were also the tears of grief and sadness that I took on from other people. Being an empath My twin soul and I are empaths, which mean that we readily pick up on the emotions that other people are feeling. It's a psychic gift, but also a curse if misunderstood and used improperly. Healers must learn how to shield themselves from other people's energy so that they do not take on their illnesses and issues. It took awhile for me to learn this. So, really, this story is about a healer who was herself unhealed. It's about an empath who did not know how to shield herself from the pain of others, or even that she needed to. Brynna "healed" by taking on the grief of others, but that's just transferring the energy from one person to another. By doing this, she was also healing in her ego, instead of being a clear channel for the Universe, which is what really does the healing. It's reassuring, in a way, to read this and to see how far I've come. Goodbye, Brynna!

Background: Shadow of Solace

I wrote Shadow of Solace around the time that I began to learn and use Reiki. In light of what I have learned since writing this, a better title would be, "How NOT to be a Healer."

How not to heal

The worst thing a healer can do is to get their own energy personally involved with that of a client. That is, to take on any of the client's energy themselves. The best healers will keep themselves clear and removed from the process. After all, it is not the person who is doing the healing, it is God, or the Universe, if you prefer. So the biggest problem that Brynna has is that she takes everyone's sorrow and makes it her own, thereby making herself sick. Ouch.

Exorcising Brynna

I think that this story is my way of acknowledging, and then finally exorcising, the Brynna in me. Every healer I went to for years told me about the terrible sadness and grief that they could feel in me. And yes, after they worked on me, I would cry and feel it, but I had no clue why or where it came from. To me, I thought I was perfectly happy and content. So where were the tears coming from?

The tears were coming from my own sadness at not being seen, not being heard, and not being respected as I grew up. They were the tears of my inner child, who could not help herself, and who tried to help others heal, but could not and had no idea how to begin. They were also the tears of grief and sadness that I took on from other people.

Being an empath

My twin soul and I are empaths, which mean that we readily pick up on the emotions that other people are feeling. It's a psychic gift, but also a curse if misunderstood and used improperly. Healers must learn how to shield themselves from other people's energy so that they do not take on their illnesses and issues. It took awhile for me to learn this.

So, really, this story is about a healer who was herself unhealed. It's about an empath who did not know how to shield herself from the pain of others, or even that she needed to. Brynna "healed" by taking on the grief of others, but that's just transferring the energy from one person to another. By doing this, she was also healing in her ego, instead of being a clear channel for the Universe, which is what really does the healing.

It's reassuring, in a way, to read this and to see how far I've come. Goodbye, Brynna!